I started this post over a year ago and tonight I think I might actually finish it.
From a year ago I started with this: This parenting thing is definitely not for the faint of heart. Having little B has made me see life in such a finite way. I don’t mean it to sound morbid, it is more like…and I quote Shawshank Redemption “get busy livin or get busy dying’.”
And today I write this: When I was pregnant I remember a few of my friends saying you’ll be happy and so sad all at the same time. They were referring to the days after giving birth. My Mom also said you’ll be overwhelmed with emotion – everything will hit you at once. Looking back, I clearly had shared some type of similar sentiment. But today, I feel it ten fold.
Today, I feel so much love for Lil B and look forward to the days where he stays up past 7p to make cookies with me or watch a movie. When he sleeps I miss him. (Don’t get me wrong I feel like a lucky fool that he sleeps straight through for twelve hours at night). At the same time, I love him being this little child – where he learns and grows before my eyes. I am seeing his personality and character develop right before me. It is amazing and wonderful and sad too, he is growing so fast and soon will no longer be my little one.
He will become a young man. And with his age comes my age. I have to get older as he gets older. I have to get older and he has to get older – to learn and experience all that life has to offer. It is the relationship between parent and child. It is so purposefully intended by nature for this relationship to be so intertwined with all of life’s lessons at once – primarily love.
While I sometimes find myself in the moment of not wanting him to grow up and me not wanting to either – it just takes one moment of seeing him sleeping in his bed to calm me. And in those peaceful moments each night when my husband and I go to check on him before going to bed – I look down at his peaceful angelic face and think “all is right with my world.”
Those moments remind me that life is fleeting – but they also thrust me into the here and now to cherish and engrain them to memory.
Add to Favourites
