My Pop turned 75 last month. We drove down to Tucson and surprised him for dinner on his birthday. It was a great night. As a tribute I wanted to write some great compelling tribute post that listed all the great lessons he’s taught me and his famous words of wisdom. But the truth is, my Dad just isn’t like that. He deserves something more “awesome” than that.

When I really thought about the biggest impact my father has had on my life, I realized it wasn’t in the direct relationship I had with him (albeit of great magnitude) it was in the relationships he had with others.

For starters, his boss from NYC 54 years ago emailed him a personal note wishing him a happy birthday (and no, Facebook didn’t remind this guy). His ex-wife, who he has rarely spoken to in 40 years, emailed him a lovely message as well.

I mean these aren’t the type of relationships that stereotypically fit the bill of “keep in touch,” right?

This really is just the tip of it. When I really started looking at why my Pop is so awesome I realized that he gives 100% of himself to each human being he meets. He makes it a point to remember every persons name; whether he plans on ever running into them again.

He has friendships spanning 65 years. Childhood friends from third grade still call him on his birthday every year and they make an effort to see each other at least once a year.

My parents, when my sister was a newborn, befriended our pediatrician and remain friends to this day. My Dad wrote them a letter for their 50th Anniversary that outlined memories dating back nearly 35 years. He recalls memories so specific: [excerpt from his personal email to them, I hope he doesn’t mind me sharing]

  • That weekend trip to Carefree on our mopeds and the relaxing hillside picnic with a bottle of good wine, excellent cheese and crusty French bread…
  • That evening dinner with some Cornell alums where our notorious physician turned magician in front of his wife and brought live gold fish to swim in our glasses…what a marvelous treat to all that were there…the fish seemed to appear from out of nowhere…except some ladies at our table exclaimed… “Did the fish come from an area near his genitalia?” Now there’s a man that sounds like someone that will never fail yah…”
  • How about the time, against the sound advice of wife Sandy, Dr. Ron invested in the purchase of a VESPA to save him some time and the cost of gas…that didn’t last long the day after his purchase he fell on his ass…
  • The white mountain experience, I believe a trade out of some sort …when we arrived and spent hours cleaning months of pack rat feces and Dr Ron administered first aid to my smashed finger to release the pressure with a heated paper clip
  • The times, there were so many, when both Ron and Sandy took excellent care of our daughters…and met us at the hospital when our daughter Liberty had one of the worst cases of Scarlet Fever ever recorded
  • The night before their trip to Spain when we prepared tapas, paella and a small Spanish feast complete with an imported bottle of Tio Pepe which Ron drank and put him to sleep…
  • So many happy parties and Sandy’s favorite meal… her fantastic curried chicken adorned with accoutrement…was one hellava deal…

I mean, these are specific special memories. I know we all remember good times with good friends, but my Pop is 75 years old and these are memories going back a long long time.

Both of my parents remember such specific details about people – I wonder if one day I will too (because I don’t now). I think this is called living in the moment, right? Loving every day no matter how shitty it is OR is it recalling only the good because that is really all that matters?

Throughout the years, my Pop has given me sound advice, he has been tough and forgiving, loving and disciplined, loyal and trusting. I wish that we had 75 more years together, and by some miracle that we do – it still won’t be long enough. I love you Dad with all my heart. Words cannot express how grateful and fortunate I feel to have had you as my father. I so look forward to you and Mom guiding and sharing in the growth and development of your grandson.

Love = you.

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